Bonjour: New book cover for Angel on my mind

Bonjour: New book cover for Angel on my mind: I have decided to change the book cover for Angel on my mind since the first one seemed to look heavenly. I hope you enjoy this one more th...

E-book world and self publishing

     In the world we live in today there are many markets for publishing a book.  With the now popular E-book world, self publishing is ever growing.
     This is a real worry to me.  As a gifted writer who actually cares about the work I do and the quality of my writing, watching others publish any book they want in a sense is alarming.
     I thought on the days of old, when an author had to really work in order to have a book published.  There work had to be legitimate.  They had to put some real time into creating it and they had to prove themselves.  If you sold a book then it meant something and you could truly call yourself an author.
     In today's world, I have been watching many books coming on the market that are not earned.  What I mean to say is the work is not original from them and their minds but rather from information they have copied from the internet off of someone else's hard work.
     This is not to say the people that have done this are not original or hard working some are.  They earned their spot.  I'm referring to the ones that simply throw a book together just to try to make a penny.  They have no caring for the writing world or for the reader who reads it.  They only care for the money they may make and not if the reader would be pleased and thankful they bought it.
     When I have read V.C. Andrews books or Charlaine Harris books, I read them with a smile on my face.  The writing intrigued me and made me thankful to have such good imaginative work in my hands.  I could appreciate all the many hours they put into each book they have written.  There are many authors who have earned a spot on the bookshelf in our local book stores.
     It saddens me, to think of the many self  published books that are written by people who only care for the possible profit they may make.  Of course there are many books I am content with.  Some have helped me in many ways.  I too will one day self publish my work but not all of it.
     I hope to be able to prove with my writing that I genuinely put hard work into satisfying the reader.  I want someone to smile when they read what I have written.  I want to earn my spot too.
     When the day comes that I can tell someone I have a book on a shelf some where or an e-book out there, I can know I worked for it.  I cared what my readers thought and not just for the money but simply because I enjoy writing.  I worry that someday I will tell someone I am a writer, and it will not matter to them  They will  have seen so many books self published that it will not have meaning to be a writer anymore.
     For those of you who have been genuine in your work.  I thank you.  For those of you who have not, shame on you.

A writer's journey

      Having others constantly telling you your gifted you should write is a good start but believing in yourself is another.  

     Over the years I have gained the confidence I need to move forward to my chosen career goal.  I have found it to be a marathon.  This morning I watched an adventure sports edition showing a runner who ran the distance of the pony express.  It was quite a run of endurance, planning, training, skill and most of all support.  I am fortunate to have someone that supports me, criticizes me and tells me the truth whether I want to hear it or not.

     There are times he and I hash it out, not agreeing with a scenes outcome.  All the while I'm thinking to myself I am the writer.  I am the one in charge of these characters lives.  I control them, their thoughts, the things they feel, those who I choose to let them interact with.  Everything about them I control.  I can do what ever I want to do.  Then I settle my pride, taking the time to think on the things my supporter has told me.  Soon I realized he was right.  This scene did need some twitching and who was I to think the audience could read my mind to know what I would be saying next.

     I learned over time that in reality I have some control over what I write and my supporter has a piece of the control.  Overall it's my character's after all that control where the story is going.  Once I write they seem to have a mind of their own.  I plan the story to go one way but the character has it going somewhere else.  Scenes I have planned slip into the distance and I wonder will they be in there at all.

     In the years I have been so fortunate to have the information I need, for my writing career, at my fingertips.  Strong information that has lead me forward.  I have learned from my mistakes and am still learning. 

     I look at the books sitting on the shelves when ever I see them in a store or library.  On the coffee table of someones home I am visiting.  The television commercials that pass by my eyes.  All of these are inspiration to keep going.  I know one day I will see my work on the shelf too.

     I'm not looking for fame and fortune.  I don't want to see my name in lights and I'm afraid of the change of life that happens when ever you reach a point of having a fan base.  I simply enjoy the gift to write.  I picture myself sitting on a dock, in my recliner outdoor chair, writing away while hearing the wildlife around me.  The fish jumping out of the water and making the ripples we all liked to watch when we were kids.  I hear the noise of the city behind me but try to tune that out.  

     This is all so nice and cozy.  A dream as strong as the white picket fence we all grew up believing we would have some day.  The truth is, I envy the writers that can sit for hours typing away.  The characters swallowing their strength as the day goes by.  I struggle to concentrate long enough to keep up with my writing.  My mind so full of scenes just waiting to explode onto the paper lying in front of me.  

     For now a page written is an accomplishment for me but one that is frowned upon by others.  I can hear the thoughts 'A page, thats all? You will never finish your novel, your e-book or your script.'  Inside the books are there, the characters are roaring to go and the endless plots go on and on.  My mind is like a fine piece of machinery able to do several things at once.  I think of my mind like the copy machine at the local office supply store.  It has all the paper.  It can accomplish many deeds when instructed to do so.  It sits waiting for the instruction to come.  Print this page, both sides of the paper, black and white ink, staple it and put three holes in it.  My mind is as that copy machine, so many things to do and have the talent to do them.  

     Trying to sit down to write some days is such a fight.  It seems to contradict itself in that I love to write but when it comes to doing the writing I have to force myself at times.  I am still very proud.  While others are saying "When is she ever going to finish this?" or "I'll believe it when I see it in print.", I'm busy saying to myself, 'You did it, you have come a little farther.'

     It's a struggle but I am finding myself more motivated everyday.  I see myself being able to be the writer who can sit and type away for hours and making the deadline.  I can see a bright future and I am proud of what I have been accomplishing.  When an inventor has an invention, he/she can see it in the mind long before the work is put into making it happen.  Planning is involved, then the layout, piece by piece it comes together while the skeptics walk by mocking and laughing saying, "That thing will never work."

     I may be off to a slow start but I am working everyday.  The plans are layed out and piece by piece my writing is flowing.  I can be mocked or unbelieved, it's okay with me now because I know I have the finished work and when it sits before the mocker on a shelf before their eyes I will hear them say, "Wow, she actually did it."

     I have a long way to go and my writing has gone way past being only a dream.  It's a reality.  It's my life.  I am so very proud I have taken the steps necessary to move on.  I have come a long way.  I can finish what I started.  I am walking away with a smile on my face.

A PERFECT FISHING TRIP

     The sun was bright casting light and heat through the sunroof opening.  It was shining down on my neck with such force that an icee cold ‘Strawberry Mango freezy’ was a relief.  Although the sun created such a heat source we were still going fishing.  My thoughts went to “Oh with this heat I may need to take a dip in the water to cool down.”  Still the trip was what I looked forward too. 

     Had I been fishing fresh shallow waters, I would have wanted to wait and fish later in the afternoon unless we found a shady spot with the shade extending over the water.  Knowing that on a hot sunny day the fish swam in deeper waters or in a shady spot and we were going to be fishing from shore.  But we were going to be fishing in the ocean.  Whether fishing was to be good or bad, I didn’t care.  I was excited.

     The drive was so beautiful.  Bryant (my boyfriend) was coming with me and this made the day even better.  He was as excited to go as I was.  I kept thinking on how great it is to be with someone that enjoys this as much as I do.  

     Water all around us, the inlets that came from the nearby ocean made fishing even more of a temptation.  Some days driving past all these good watering holes are torture since I love to fish so much.  This day we were going to fish and the heat wasn’t going to detour our trip.

     We stopped to pick up some needed items for our fishing trip.  Even the walk through the store had me in high hopes.  Unlike the usual female that I know, I could spend all day in there looking at fishing supplies and thinking on which of them I was coming back to buy in the near future. 

     Arriving at our first destination was great.  Bryant had planned this as a surprise for me, so this made the getting there even more fun.  Upon arrival though we saw there were many people already fishing.  The pier looked over crowded this day and being that Bryant and I both like our elbow room when we fish, we continued to look for another spot.

     Again, Bryant had a plan and took me to pier number two for another surprise.  This time the pier was looking good.  The sunny day had turned to a cloudy day which made fishing even more to look forward too.  Just as we were about to make our journey from the car to the pier, three men came walking to their car with tackle in hand.  They said to us “The fishing isn’t good today, nothings biting.”  Bryant and I looked at each other with the same thought in mind.  We came for the relaxation of fishing not only to fish, good or bad we were going.

     My new thought was “Those men came in the early afternoon hours.  The sun was at its hottest and the fish would not have been biting then.”  We arrived later then they and it was now cloudy skies.  The day had cooled off, it was later in the afternoon and it was high tide.  The fish would be biting soon.   Bryant and I both new the conditions were right for good fishing.

     We now stood on the pier.  Fishing poles baited and ready to cast.  Our first few casts let us know that we may need lighter weight.  The water at this pier location was shallow, heavier weight meant getting our hooks snagged on objects such as rocks that lay on the oceans floor.  The wind blowing and the waves crashing made us leave our lines weighted so as not to drift to fast with the current. 

     I decided rather than to straight line fish, I would jig (this is when you cast and reel, cast and reel with an artificial bait, a lure on your hook.  Straight line is a weighted line, hook and sinker with live bait.  You cast and wait for a bite).  My second cast I had my first bite.  I was really anxious to catch my first fish of the day.  After this though, no bites and the shallowness of the water along with the wind made fishing become tedious work. 

     Since Bryant and I just love the outdoors and to fish, this didn’t stop us and we continued fishing.  A new cast, I reeled in feeling what I thought was another bite.  I pulled back my fishing pole to hook the fish but ended up stuck on something in the water.   A rock, a coral reef, an underwater structure I didn’t know what I was stuck on.   While I tried to pry my hook loose and trying not to break my line I realized this hook was really stuck.  I did the usual ‘fisherman’s walk’ as I call it, when you walk up and down trying to find a place to stand where just maybe your hook will come loose.  To no avail, I was still stuck. 

     Just as I decided I would have to break my line, the top half of my pole went sliding into the ocean following the line down to the place where my hook was stuck.  Now a simple pain had become a nightmare.  I had no other poles with me.  Not only that I just bought this pole one week prior.  As much as I love fishing this was really ruining my day and I was thinking I would be ruining Bryant’s day as well.

     Now I had to try to retrieve the top of my pole but how?  My hook was really stuck and I was angry with myself now for not having changed my cheap line.  I knew that after I brought my new pole home I should have changed over to better line. (Cheap line breaks easily and tangles quickly also, a better line will be strong, and more easily cast, no tangles on jus t a simple cast.)

     I tried so carefully not to break my line.  Breaking the line meant loosing the top half of my rod since it would then have nothing to stop it from gliding down to the bottom of the sea.  I didn’t want to have to buy a new pole and this would totally mess up our fishing trip.  After several minutes of trying and realizing that the line must be even weaker now I gave up, my fishing trip was ruined. 

     Bryant asked if he could try, I gave him the reins and watched just sure that I was going to have to buy a new pole.  All the while I thought to myself, “Why hadn’t I checked the pole to make sure everything was in tack.  This was my own fault but then I remembered I had checked my pole, so why did this happen?”  I did still have a chance to retrieve the top half of my pole because Bryant is a great fisherman.  He knew tricks I didn’t.  I still had hope.  Later looking at the bottom half of my pole I saw a little rubber piece that held the top half of the rod in place.  It had come unglued.  This allowed the top part of the rod to easily slide out of its socket. (Most rods are made to come apart, due to its length so that it can fit in the trunk of a car for example.  My rod had a little rubber piece that kept the top half firmly gripped in the socket of the bottom half.)

     I watched Bryant carefully work with my problem.  He said “Look the line is reeling in.”  I had been so sure the line was stuck to the point it had to be broken to continue fishing.  I looked believing that the line was snapped.   I thought “its okay, no one could have gotten that loose unless they dove under water to retrieve it.  I’ll fish with half a pole.”  I was crazy enough about fishing to do that.  Amazingly Bryant was able to get the hook loose.  The line wasn’t broken after all, Bryant did get it loose.  I was so happy I called him my hero.  At this point I wanted to run and hug him but refrained from doing so.  I would thank him more with my hugs when we got home.

     The sight of seeing the rest of my pole reel in was so exciting.  I grabbed it and happily re-assembled it without noticing what had caused the problem of the line being stuck in the first place.  Bryant pointed it out.  It was another person’s hook assembly that had gotten stuck in the shallows.  I was even happier now.  Not happy I was stuck in the first place but happy to have some new tackle to add to my collection.  The hooks were rusted out but the steel weights were not. 

     A short while later, fishing on the opposite side of the pier, it was Bryant’s turn to be stuck.  He did eventually retrieve his hook.  On the other end was yet another hook assembly that someone had lost.  We were cleaning out the ocean and finding new tackle to boot.  Catching fish though was not the case.  Rather than leave as Bryant had suggested to try another spot.  We continued on, a moment longer the fish would be biting I was sure of that. 

     Ahah!  I was right.  I had a good bite.  Reeling in I realized, “Wait a minute this fishing isn’t fighting.  What was on the other end of the hook?”  When you fish the ocean, you never know what you will catch.  This can be a scary time for me, what was I going to have to get off my hook once I reeled this in.  Bryant and I waited till the hook finally came to the surface of the water.  (The water was shallow but I had cast out far.) 

     On the other end was a rusted out pair of pliers.  Now I had it, we really were cleaning out the ocean.  No wonder not many people were on this pier.  Time to leave and go somewhere else.   Just as we were about to pack up, here came two men anxious to fish.  One of them knew he was the better fisherman of the two.  When his buddy caught a fish a moment after they cast in, the man was in action to catch the better of the two. 

     The whole day was becoming quite comical to me, so this seemingly bad time had suddenly became a good time.  I laughed thinking on all that had happened to us. 

     One after another the buddy that caught one fish caught another and another.  We were excited now, and stayed a little longer.  I continued to watch the man be jealous over his buddy but soon he was catching fish too.  Now it was time for me to study these men’s fishing style.  Why were they the only two on the pier catching fish?  I was still new to ocean fishing and had a lot to learn.  I focused on their every move.  I saw the bait they used.  How they set the hook assembly up.

      Bryant had taught me how and he knew what he was talking about.  That was the same assembly the men used.  I knew though when he showed me how, that he was a good fisherman and that I should listen to him.

     I did see some things I was not doing:  1. The bait, I used shrimp, this bait usually did well. The men used squid.  2. With the waves being so rough, (I’m used to river and lake fishing, ocean I have a lot to learn.) I was not holding my pole and I let my line be too loose.  On rough waters this makes it hard to feel the fish bite.  I tried what the men did with the exception of using shrimp and wahlah, I had a bite. 

I thought on how many bites I must have missed.  I told Bryant my new found knowledge and he agreed that was what I should have been doing. 

     Still fish were not being caught on our part so we left to find another pier.  On the pier we were on, just before we left, I saw men with their poles behind their heads, or sitting on the deck of the pier looking bored out of their mind.  This was humorous to me and made my day of coming there more fun.  I was glad we came and left with a smile on my face.  Bryant did too but we were off to yet another spot to fish.

     This was fun to me.  I liked trying new places so going from spot to spot was okay.  We arrived at a pier we like to fish at.  We had our squid now and were ready to fish some more.  From the moment we cast in, we had one bite after another and now we were the one’s catching and no one else was.   The funny thing, they were using the same bait we were with the exception of the faithful shrimp users and the ones fishing for crab.  I looked at Bryant and saw the gleam in his face when he reeled in his first fish of the day.  I was happy, he was happy.  The day was great and every moment of it counted.

     It wasn’t long though before I realized almost every cast I was casting came up with crab on my hook.  Each time the hook was close to the pier and about to come out of the water the crap let go.  It was as if he knew he would be eaten and he would just hang on the hook eating away at the squid until he got as far as he could go.  This frustrated me but on the one hand I really didn’t want to take the crab off my hook.

     Bryant was catching both croaker fish and crabs.  I was catching the same along with a spot fish or two.  The time came when I finally caught a crab willing to hang on until the last second and he was put down onto the wooded deck I stood on.  He let go and it was off to the races.  The funniest thing I saw this whole day.  Prior to setting him down on the deck of the pier, I asked some women fishing for crab if they wanted him.  Watching them run, jump, and avoid getting grabbed by his claws he so faithfully put in the air every time they tried to reach for him was so funny and I wished we had recorded the moment on video.  Bryant, myself and the three women laughed so hysterically.  It was a moment we all would remember for a long time.

     A blue crab, crawling his way back to sea, then standing on his hind legs in defense mode of being picked up.  This was definitely the karate kid of the ocean.  Funny so funny watching the three women use their feet gently trying to guide him to their bucket.  Then with their hands trying to pick him up while the crab stood on his hind legs opening his claws to attack.  The three women were screaming and laughing.  What a great time we had. 

     The day turned into night shortly thereafter.  The women were taking home the fish and our crab we continued to catch.  Bryant and I had a great time.  We went home fully fished out and ready to jump in the shower.  A day to remember and a moment to remind us that life is worth living.

     Picture this, seated on a hotel balcony, overlooking the blue waters of a calm ocean, and near you on a small table is your favorite snack and beverage. Leaning back in your chair you sit with your favorite read in your hand.  A perfect day with just the right environment to relax your mind and capture a thought that keeps you captive.

     This wasn't the scene for me when I was reading one of my favorite magazines ( "Mary Janes Farm" Feb-Mar. 2010 ) but life's simple pleasures is something we all tend to forget.  An article I had read sparked my memory of moments in life that I should always be grateful for.

     Be it memories with family or friends, events or outings, even moments where just life itself reminds us just how much it has to offer, we should take a trip to think about all we have to be thankful for. Often in difficult times in our lives, times we feel we don't have the strength to go on, a memory of something simple can get us through.

     I quote from "Here for life." one of the articles from the Mary Jane magazine listed above. "We have the world at our fingertips...we can tap into the talents of women worldwide...".  She (Mary Jane) went on to talk about women and their talents shared.  Knitters to carpenters, working together in one way or another to share their talents and knowledge.

     Somehow the article brought me to thinking how much I over look the simple pleasures life has to offer.   I lived in Iowa for several years and have met many farming families. I often envied the farmers wives for their country living.  Theirs lives were so laid back compared to that of the hustle and bustle of city life but after living there among them, it wasn't long before I was in with the laid back lifestyle. It was then that I had given myself time to think of all the gifts I was given.  Of course I remember the hard work that goes along with the life of a farming family.  From pot luck dinners to quilting shows.  From country fairs to the friendly atmosphere of the local grocery stores. There was much to overlook and not appreciate as I should have.  I feel very lucky, for some people can only appreciate life if they live in a lap of comfort and luxury but I was able to have open eyes and see that even amongst the thorns there is a beautiful rose attached. 

     It's never to late to notice the small things.  Yesterday my partner took me to a beach.  Growing up in the mid-west I didn't get to see the ocean.  Although I had travelled when I was very young my only memory of the ocean was in black and white but I do remember the seashells I picked up while my mother was hollering out "watch out for the waves coming in."  Being at the beach with my partner gave me many things to cherish about that moment.  The beautiful waves, the blue coloring of the water, the different birds and watching one of the sea gulls eating a freshly caught crab leg.  A man nearby rushing to get to the water to surf while a women walking by could only imagine the air being chilly and the silliness of  a surfer going out. 

     Remember the small things and when your out today look with eyes that see what you may have over looked yesterday.  Look at your children for they grow so fast and before you know it they are adults with kids of there own.  Look at the scenery around you, there is beauty in places you never noticed before. 

     Whether you are rich or poor, young or old.  You have the small things to remember and don't let life just pass you by without glancing at the rose that is sitting in the midst of broken promises, heartache and the unfulfillment in your lives.